Oasis Family Bookstore

PREPARE YOUR CHILDREN

Getting children involved in their own destinies will make them more likely to participate.  Remember that each child, like each one of us, is unique.

At early ages (up to age 6 or so), children will happily play with what is available in the home, do assignments that are put in front of them and tag along on field trips without a fuss.  You run the show.  These young children do well with the basic A-B-C's and 1-2-3"s.  Some gentle bribing in the form of mini M&M's or other favorite foods is often sufficient.  Arts and crafts, field trips, play dates, park days and quality time with mom and dad are enough to keep this age group happy.

Around age 6 or 7, children really start seeing themselves as special and start making demands -- for special foods, clothes, playmates, classes, etc..  Try to honor these requests as often as possible, as a reward for good behavior.

Also at this age, more structure is needed in the day.  Make a schedule for lessons and daily activities.  The three "R's" -- Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic -- are done from workbooks, with plenty of repetition built into the lessons. 

Other subjects are taught/learned on a catch-as-catch-can basis:  science, history, art, music, etc., through books, games, educational videos, TV, CD-ROMs, field trips, classes and so on.  Early exposure and fun associations are the key to quality learning. 

At age 8 to 9, children have a sense that they not only can demand but can affect their desires.  They can help you plan their daily lives to some degree.  Now ask your children if they want to learn specific subjects in addition to the basics, then decide how they are going to learn them.  For example, my oldest daughter wanted to take ballet lessons, so we signed her up with the local dance instructor.  Since this was her idea she worked hard in class and enjoyed it.  My son insisted on fencing lessons which are available in our city.  The amount of practice required would normally have turned him off, but since this was his idea he now puts in the work in with minimal complaint.  This applies to subjects such as languages, the arts or any topic within the core subjects that are not part of the current daily lesson plan.

Homeschooling can make time for all these requests.  Just figure out how they will be taught (buy/rent tapes, videos, go to the computer for online classes, attend local classes) and how you'll fit them into your schedule.

Over age 9 to 11, children are capable of self-schooling and self-care for the most part.  The more responsibility and independence you give these children, the better the homeschool experience becomes for everyone.  At this age your child can really begin to sit down and work independently.  You provide the user-friendly materials and space.

If you are pulling your child out of the school system, allow a good two to four weeks for your child to decompress.  During this time you and your child can get to know one another better.  Continue with your daily routine but involve your child in household chores, shopping errands, etc..  Only when both of you are ready to start schooling should you jump in and do so.

This is a good time to brush up on effective parenting skills (see PARENTING 101).  Without proper parenting your homeschool will be chaotic.  Several books and parenting programs will give you the tools to raise cooperative, well-adjusted children.  As with anything that is worth doing but is hard to do consistently, good parenting needs practice.  Practice good habits and teach them to your children:

• Cleanliness;
• Respect (do not tease, humiliate or harm others);
• Responsibility;
• Fairness (rules apply equally to all);
• Consciensciousness;
• Trustworthiness;
• Citizenship (being a responsible member of your community, getting to know and looking after you neighbors).

In our family, our children know that they get consistently rewarded for good behavior and punished for bad behavior.  The rewards and punishments are fair and fit the good deed or the crime.  All get justice dished out equally.  No child is allowed to be mean, harmful or disrespectful (although they try to get away with it throughout the day!).  We all take responsibility for our own actions but also look out for one another.  Our children are allowed to respectfully argue with their elders but sometimes elders just have to assert their seniority, as long as it is asserted justly and respectfully.  Throughout the day our family practices conscientious actions at home, which ultimately create decency in all of us outside of the home.  Be aware that our home is frequently the place for noisy arguments, disagreements and disrespect, but we hash things out at home so that once outside of the  home we present quite well behaved children. 

Start teaching your child the Rules of the House;  in our home they are: 

•  Keep your room/space neat;
• Clean up after yourself;
• Complete your homework without a fuss;
• Don't do to others what you wouldn't want others to do to you;
• Respect other's quiet time;
• Use the Magic Words: Please, Thank You, You're Welcome, May I, Excuse Me.

A word about Magic Words:  when you have your children at home with you 24/7, manners are a must.  Without civility at home you will have anarchy.  Children, especially feisty, homeschooled ones, are the masters of pushing buttons, mainly the wrong ones.  Always insist on decency, respect and the Magic Words from them as well as from yourselves.

You provide the warm, loving, disciplined and structured environment that makes homeschooling a pleasure for the whole family (most of the time -- nobody's perfect!) and your school at home will be a good one.